Denial..

Oblivious to what the future holds for me, I am getting married. Not unwillingly but not willingly either.My life up to this day has been composed of what I wanted it to hold. My special moments, my love, my commitments.Who decides if love is commitment? If it is such a universal force, why does it have a different meaning for everybody??

I have been in love, been committed, been in total denial of the future, fought destiny assuming God on my side and here I am, expected to cherish my marriage to another man. How can I let anyone else come so close, so as to touch my very soul? Not that I will have a choice. It becomes a responsibility more than an expression of love.I never stepped over the threshold, yet I know, that the memories of those fleeting moments, will sustain me throughout my life.

Why is it so difficult to keep the one you love to yourself? We both know that, without the other’s presence, our lives will not be full circle. Then why??I am all smiling in front of my family. Retreating to quiet corners amidst boisterous conversations. They think, it’s the marriage day blues, and I am glad they don’t know otherwise.But probably, mu presence in his life or rather, our presence in the lives of those who matter to us, will create more upheaval.

I love him, is an understatement. I will miss him, doesn’t even come close to what I will feel, wedded to another man. I won’t exist without him. That sums it up…But... I am getting married